Scratch, Scratch, Scratch Part 2

So I succumbed and brought dd and myself to the National Skin Centre on Wednesday.

Dd has been having a bad outbreak ever since we came back from our week long Bintan trip. And since I was bringing her, I thought I might as well book an appointment for myself as well. We have run out of our usual medication and I needed to stock up

In my mind, I just knew what they (“the experts”) were going to say and going to prescribed. And even tho’ I really didn’t want to be, I was right

The dr which came highly recommended by a friend was very nice and pleasant. Did not talk down to me like one who did years ago when I was a patient here. That dr told me that allergies and how it works “was too difficult for me to understand” when I asked her some questions

So what did the good dr say?

Like all conventional skin doctors, he didn’t believe in food allergies Said that only 1% of older children and adults suffer from food allergies. I don’t know where he got his numbers from but I certainly don’t agree on that! He did not want to test us and prescribed antibiotics for dd (her skin is infected after all that non-stop scratching) and different strength steriod creams/ointments to control the itch. I got a similar batch of medicine and we were told to keep on moisturising.

Hmmm…….

I guess I was hoping for too much to find a doctor who knows how our diets can and do affect our skin. So here we are. Back to treating the symptoms and not the cause. I truly believe our eczema stems from a lack of something internally. Hence my previous post on taking EPO, coconut oils, etc internally. And I still believe it. I guess who I need to see is a naturopath. But the problem is most , if not all are new age practitioners. :(

So this is my plan of attack. Use the antibiotics and steriod cream to calm the skin first. Then eliminate all the usual suspects of wheat, dairy*, eggs and shellfish*. And continue with our supplements.

In the end, I guess what we all really need is to eat healthier – lots more green veggies and less processed stuff. But I confess I am overwhelmed by eating this way, not to mention preparing it! It would be so hard to eliminate eggs and wheat. They are used in so many recipes! And all wheat-free alternatives do taste erm…different But for the sake of our health, I guess I’ll be having to push some things through.

Meanwhile, I’ll keep surfing the net for more information and recipes. I’ve been told that Pamela’s Mix is a good altenative to the usual wheat flour for baking. And here’s a free eBook that I found which may help someone who’s suffering like us at Eczema.Net.

* we take very little dairy and no shellfish.

To Sleep train or not

Again the subject of sleep training came up over at the AsiaParents list.

I think it comes up every now and then coz it is a never ending problem that many parents go through. And if you have been reading my blog long enough, you know I am all for sleep training.

To have a child that would go to sleep when it is time to instead of having to cajole/bribe/rock/nurse is such a blessing. And I know this for sure since I was just recently struggling with this.

Before I go on, let me clarify that to sleep train a child does NOT mean to have the child sleep through the nite. That is only one aspect of sleep training. What I am referring to is the ability of the child to go to sleep by himself when it is nap/bed time. So don’t misunderstand that I am wanting a 3mth old baby to sleep through the nite. Though if it happens it is a happy bonus!

I usually teach a child to sleep by himself at 3months, after the usual growth spurt. You can read more about it here and here. But with #7 I had missed that window due to the numerous things happening at that point in time. And so at 8mths I had a baby who would only go to sleep if I carried and rocked her or nursed to sleep. And then there was the whole other problem of transferring her from my arms to the bed. And if she nursed and fell asleep on the bed I was always worried that she would roll off the bed. Especially since our bed is higher than normal beds and we have hard ceramic flooring!

At about 6mths I tried sleep training her but failed. So I actually thought of just leaving things as they were. I started asking around for stories of babies who were able to go to sleep by themselves without being sleep trained. However the common thread of the stories I heard was this – the baby eventually slept on his own BUT at 2yrs or older! Oh man! I just couldn’t imagine the thought of having to nurse or carry her to sleep till she was 2.

Yes I know many moms do it but I just can’t in our household. Perhaps I would have continued status quo if she would continue to sleep when I transferred her to her cot from my arms. But she wouldn’t. She just wanted to be carried throughout the whole nap! Or she wanted to be latched on the entire nap. The moment she felt me unlatch her she would stir – sorry Elizabeth Pantley fans!

And on top of that when she woke up, she was hardly refreshed. She was cranky and kept on clinging to me – more than any other baby did. So I couldn’t do any work while she slept and I couldn’t do any work while she was awake. How’s that for productivity?!

I was getting desperate. I thought through my various options -

• continue as things were – unproductive plus there was an increasing sense of resentment
• nurse her to sleep – then what about the toddler who tends to get into trouble when I am doing that plus that means I am the ONLY one who can put her to sleep. And that meant she’d never sleep in her cot ever!
• sleep train – yep. That seems to be only option if I wanted her in her cot during nap/bed times

So I started to pray. The failed training made me very aware that I need to bathe the entire exercise in prayer. Lots of it! Dh suggested playing a instrumental CD in the background. I dug around and found one in our collection of CDs.

Then I just did it.

Yes she cried the 1st day for 45 minutes – but only for the 1st nap.* And it was an on-off type of crying. For her 2nd nap, she let out a cry of protest when she was laid on the cot and stopped even before I was out of the room! Same for the 2nd and 3rd day.

It is truly a miracle!

I don’t know if we are out of the woods yet But it is a huge, huge improvement from what we were struggling with for months! She sleeps better and is such a happy baby now. I am now even able to eat my meals in peace! Sure, I still have to eat real fast but I couldn’t even do that previously. How can I but conclude that it was her lack of sleep was making her very needy and clingy. I actually created a high need child! Even dh noticed the change in her demeanour.

Praise God!

* I did not go in to check on her every 5, 10, 15 minutes as recommended by some experts. I figured that would be teasing her. So I just told her to go to bed and I purposed in my heart that I wouldn’t check on her till she slept. I went downstairs and prayed and prayed and prayed

Scratch, Scratch, Scratch

Eczema is such a terribly annoying thing to be afflicted with!

I had my 1st brush with allergies when I was 8 or so. My lips would itch, peel and swell. The only solution back then, as now, is the infamous steriod cream. Somehow, the itching and peeling disappeared. But it re-surfaced as patches of eczema rash on all the joints of my body (elbow, knees, finger joints) when I was in JC (17, 18yrs old). Then it went away until 1995. It flared up real bad on our honeymoon. Then it went away only to surface when I was pregnant with our 2nd child. It cleared up sometime later but came back as itching and peeling lips after I had my 5th child. I had to go off wearing lipstick. But no body rash. I have not worn lipstick since 2005!

Then last year when I was pregnant with #7, my finger joints started itching. And to add to that combo, I developed an allergy to my own sweat! So miserable.

To make me more miserable, the stuff that I am allergic to has increased! It used to be just shellfish (prawns, crayfish, lobsters, oysters, etc.). But now, I am allergic to sweat, dust and MSG – natural or man-made! Which means everytime I eat out, especially at Chinese restauants, my lips itch and peel. I can actually measure the amount of MSG in the food by the reaction of my lips Seriously. If it is a little, I may not even itch. But if it is a lot, woah! Almost immediate itching and swelling.

The same reaction afflicts me when I take foods with naturally occuring MSG too. So I can’t take mushrooms or tomatoes. And sauces that are made with them. If I really, really want to eat the beef stew that dear Aunty Helen (Angie’s mom) cooks, I have to take an antihistamine prior to the meal. Or I’ll have to pay for it. And you can’t hide and lie to me either. My body knows!

As for dust – it just means that everytime I de-clutter or shift furniture around, I break out. Actually just normal dusting cause me to break out. I have to do it very, very gently making sure nothing falls on the sensitive areas.

What’s frustrating is that even when I avoid all offending foods I can still break out in an itch/rash and that’s when I know I am stressed. Even if I dont’ feel stressed, my body is telling me that I am. So I have to step back and rest in the Lord – eaasier said than done!

Sadly, this heightened sensitivity to foods and dust has been passed on to dd#1. It pains me to see her scratching and picking on the scabs.

For her, it is worse since dh’s side of the family has a history of allergies and eczema too! Double whammy

So what do we do?

I have read and researched so much about allergies and eczema (allopatic and alternative medicines) that I think I am more knowledgeable on this topic than most doctors! I have also seen doctors and taken different medication/supplements over the years that now whenever someone swears by a certain product, I am totally unmoved. Why? Well, most likely I have tried that product before and it either did not work or it worked but not in the long term.

This is what I do - PRAY!

While we do try to avoid steriods as much as possible since the side effects are as bad as the itch BUT I have found that despite all the bad press it gets, it is the ONLY thing that helps when the itching gets really, really unbearable. And I have also found that if I “attack” the itch with steriods before it gets really ugly, it helps shorten the whole cycle. Taking an antihistamine before de-cluttering or eating out also helps.

But that is my offensive technique Once it is under control, I moisturise and moisturise and moisturise. Not with over the counter creams anymore for I discovered that the stuff in them aggravates the itch, but with the expensive organic, au naturale ones. Since I believe that it is an internal “fault”, I have also added taking coconut oil, EPO and flax-borage oil combo to help strengthen the skin.

In case this helps anyone, here are the stuff (that I can remember) I have done over the years besides avoiding the offensive food/trigger as much as possible -

Taken orally :

• Vit E
• Evening Primrose Oil
• Flax and borage Oils (recent)
• Extra Virgin Cold Pressed Coconut Oil
• Fish Oils
• Piriton (an antihistamine – Chlorphenamine)

Used externally :

• A-Derma
• Nutiva Extra Virgin Cold Pressed Coconut Oil
• Manuka Honey Creams (Manuka Magic Oil, Magic Cream, East Cape Manuka Cream)
• California Baby products (Shea Butter, Calendula Cream, Sensitive Body Wash, Super Sensitive Everyday Lotion)
• Badger Balm
• Northern Essence lip balm
• Plain oatmeal (to soak in to relieve itching)
• DermaVeen products

They all have worked in various degrees and for short periods of time. Meaning I would have to rotate them around since there isn’t one product that works all the time.

I buy most of these online at iHerb, Whoopee Kiddies and Manu Nutraceuticals. Otherwsise I buy them at pharmacies or GNC. If you are a 1st time customer to iHerb, you can use my referral code LIM018 to get US$5 off your 1st purchase!

Despite the misery my dd and I suffer I know it isn’t as bad as what some other eczema/allergy sufferers go through. So we are thankful for that. But when an attack occurs, we forget to be grateful coz all we can think about it alleviating that itch!

Ordination, A Vacation and a Clingy Baby

…and twins!

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while but I have had neither the time nor inclination to since I have been erm…busy?

So here’s a post on what’s been happening lately in our family.

Ordination

On 1st November 2009, dh was officially ordained as Reverend Henson Lim and promoted to Deputy Senior Pastor We understand that a title is only that and we are honoured and privileged to be able to serve God. But still is is nice to be acknowledged

A Vacation

Infront of our villa with the buggy that all 9 of us piled in to get around.

The last time we took a vacation was in February 2008 to Bintan when our 6th child was 8 months old. The kids had a great time there. So when we were wondering where to go for a short family break this time round, they all voted for Bintan hands down So to Bintan we went . We booked a well-stocked 3-room villa through SAFRA. The villa came with 2 single beds, 1 queen bed and 5 extra mattresses thrown in! It fitted all of us very comfortably.

We spent the the entire time either at the beach or by the pool. (And the baby spent all her time nursing – yes at the beach and IN the pool as well! She has returned with a double chin, I say!)The older kids got to play carom, snooker (dh’s favourite game) and wii when the younger ones needed to rest/nap in the afternoon. Now we are all as brown as one can get. Lots of sunblock ensured that no one got burnt.

The best part of it all for me? The BBQ dinner we booked on our last night there. Yummy!!! Everyone had a great time, even the baby. But it was tiring for the 2 adults. Hmmm…when do you think we can get to enjoy a relaxing vacation?!

Clingy Baby

Ah!!! We’ve been at this phase for a while but it seems to be intensifying lately. Probably too much carrying and attention from mama and daddy over the vacation! Most days can feel like they are totally unproductive. As I mentioned to my friend Sam I can only do mindless stuff like watch TV when she’s awake. I can’t read the newspapers/book/mark schoolwork/teach/cook properly since she either wants to be carried or grab whatever’s in my hands to chew it up! And when I really have to leave her, she screams her head off.

Work is just piling up No, we wouldn’t be getting an Ergo She just has to learn to be content to sit or play by herself. It is not as if I leave her for hours alone, kwim? It’s just 10-15minutes. Already she’s spoilt by her older siblings (when they are around) and gets to be carried more often than the others had been at her age.

So if you are wondering at the sporadic postings, she’s the reason!

Twins

No, no, no. We are not pregnant My brother and sil had their twins 2 weeks ago. A boy and a girl. How cool is that? And sil is persevering hard this time to make sure her breastfeeding experience is more positive than the last time. The entire family has been roped in to help her. I was sms-ing help on breastfeeding from Bintan! My dad is in-charge of the 2yr old toddler. Mom is the cook and the nighttime help (she sleeps with sil and the twins). My sil? She’s just in-charge of nursing the babies

And so that’s what we have been busy with.

Home Made Skirts

As mentioned before, we school 4 weeks and take 1 week off the whole year through except for Christmas where we take 2 weeks off. We also give ourselves a day off on our birthdays

I usually take the 1 week break to catch up on chores, let the kids do some crafty stuff and/or bake if inspiration strikes . Well, at the last break, we re-did our study and installed wall-to-wall cabinets. That involved lots of decluttering, dusting (scratch-scratch) and re-organising.

And to just up the ante, I decided to sew some skirts for the girls which they had been bugging me for. So sweet that they actually want me to sew them skirts, right?

And so in the photo you see some of the skirts I sewed for the girls. I sewed 11 skirts (4 in yellow floral print, 4 in black floral print, 2 in black and 1 in pink floral) in total for 4 out of the 5 girls. It took me 1 day to cut the fabric another day to sew them all up. All with a crawling, clingy baby at my side. It was erm..challenging. And I swore never to do it again till the baby is 2 years old!

I even tried to sew patch pockets for the yellow floral print skirts. Not too bad I must say for someone whose only sewing lessons was way back in the early 80s in Home Economics class which made me cry coz I was just so bad at it!

But what really makes me feel all warm inside is is that the girls inevitably pick these skirts to wear for Church. And it is so cool to see 4 of them trotting out of our home in a single file. Although I still stand by my decision not to sew anymore till the baby turns 2!

 

Hot and Humid!

Oh man, while my friends in the US are enjoying their cool weather, we are most certainly sweating it out here in hot and humid Singapore!

It is so hot that the air conditioner seems totally ineffective. Or perhaps ours are dying?! I shower a minimum of 3 times a day and still feel icky and covered in a layer of sweat. Yucks!

Although we used to almost never turn on the airconditioner, they are now turned on daily from 4-5pm* til midnight when we go to bed! That’s a lot of hours! Yes I know I am contributing to global warming But I will just go crazy without it. Already with it turned on I am still breaking out in a heat rash and am scratching and scratching.

It doesn’t help that I am often rushing from task to task, generating more heat in the process. I suppose if I walked and moved much slower it would help?!

An afternoon siesta would be helpful too

* Edited : For some days the aircon gets turned on after lunch

One of those days

It was one of those days. Can’t teach properly. Actually can’t even think properly. The baby is acting up and likes to climb all over me and mouths whatever book/paper/pen she can grab off us.

Then someone can’t get fractions. Another person can’t get punctuation. Everyone clamouring for his/her turn with me.

I sms-ed dh “I’m slowly going mad.”

And then something else happens to really push things a lil bit further.

Some background : we have a Diamond Water filter affixed to our kitchen sink for yummy tasting water that doesn’t require boiling. Today, we had an upgrade since it is already 5yrs old. However, I did not realise that the new tap has a much longer “neck” than the old one.

The drama starts : While the kids started eating their lunch, I placed our huge stainless steel water dispenser under this new tap to refill it. When the dispenser was full, I put grumpy baby down on the floor to move dispenser back to the kitchen counter top. I suddenly realised that I couldn’t lift the dispenser up. It was stuck under the tap!

I gingerly tried to tilt the dispenser a little to get it out from under the tap. However, a LOT of water spilt out of the dispenser onto the kitchen counter top which then flowed down to the kitchen floor forming a huge puddle.

Baby almost immediately crawls to toward me wailing away. The rest of the kids continue eating their lunch oblivious to the unfolding drama in the kitchen :( (Ds now peering over my shoulder as I type it claims, “Hey! I didn’t know anything, so not my fault.”

I continue with my task of bringing the dispenser back to the other kitchen counter. Suddenly I realise that the dispenser is dripping water non-stop from the bottom! I look wildly around for a container large enough to pour the water out.

Zilch. Nada.

I grabbed the largest, unused, clean pot which could only take less than 1/2 of the water in the dispenser! Never mind. I hurriedly brought the dispenser back to the sink so that it can conitnue dipping there as I look for my old Tupperware water dispenser. As I was filling that up, I suddenly remembered that I had put it away coz it had a leak too! Smack head! But thankfully, it is still holding strong – for now.

While all this is happening, the baby continues wailing away even though by now, the older kids had stepped in to carry her away to amuse her. I quickly mopped up the floor with 2 thick towels. Took unhappy baby off her siblings and tried to eat lunch with baby climbing all over me.

My life.

The End.

Pollyanna

I started reading Penguin Classics: Pollyanna with my 11 and 9 yr old last month and we are loving it! It is a well-loved children’s classic which sad to say, I have never read till now! I am so glad we homeschool or I would never had even thought of picking up the book to read!

In almost every chapter, Pollyanna reminds us to be thankful in whatever circumstances we find ourselves to be in. In case you are not familiar with the book, the protaganist, Pollyanna, has been taught by her father to always be thankful in all circumstances. For example : she received a pair of crutches instead of a long awaited doll as a present. Instead of sulking or throwing a temper tantrum, she decided she would be thankful – that she doesn’t need crutches!

I suppose the sceptic in us would say that is too naive. Afterall, when I searched the term Pollyanna, I found that it had a negative connotation But I beg to differ.

Having an attitude of thankfulness teaches one to focus on what one has, not what one doesn’t have which could easily lead to discontentment. It is even biblical as we are told to: Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

Go and read it – or better still, read it to your children and let’s cultivate an attitute of thankfulness.

Book Review : Raising Real Men

Whether you have one son or 12, this book will help you understand boys a little more. Raising Real Men : Surviving, Teaching and Appreciating Boys is written by Hal and Melanie Young, parents of 6 boys and 2 girls. They take an unabashedly Christian take on raising boys into men for God.

Their own real life experiences flesh out what they are sharing. This makes it more credible than books put forth by experts who have merely studied statitistics with a few case studies thrown in. The book’s friendly and humourous tone will engage your attention immediately.

I personally feel that children today are molly coddled way to much, be it boys or girls. Probaly due to the fact that most families have only one or 2 children only and a live-in helper to boot. I once blogged about children and chores after reading an article featured in the Sunday Times where getting yourself a cup of drink is considered a chore

I feel that all this pampering has a more detrimental effect on boys than girls. Where will the real men of society be found? They can’t even do basic chores and we are expecting them to lead their families and our country?

Anyhow, Raising Real Men first explains that boys are well, boys. They are different from girls on so many levels. And admittedly, I think we moms tend not to appreciate this:)

I onlyhave 2 boys out of the 7 children the good Lord has blessed us with but all that activity (jumping/climbing/wrestling) and noise just gets to me at times, especially now when I am very sleep deprived. But as the authors remind me, boys are made that way by God. I just need to learn how to channel all that energy and noise to something productive. As they say, “The focus must be on leading our sons into godly manhood, not just trying to manage them to make our lives convenient and pleasant.”

 They also remind me that because boys are always on a lookout for heros to emulate, I need to be careful who they are watching and learning from! This includes friends they make, tv they watch, computer games they play and books they read.

What I like best is the section “Who’s In Charge Here?” and “His Own Man Now” where they speak at length about encouraging leadership in our boys. Encourage them to be leaders, not followers - they need to be groomed to lead their families one day even if they never get to be a CEO of a large MNC or GLC. “God made boys – all of them – to be leaders.” Hence the occasional (regular?!) challenge to mom’s authority. But they need to also understand submission to authority and how the chain of authorityworks. They also need to learn that mom is acting on dad’s behalf (as head of the house) and dad is acting on behalf of God.

And one skill they need to learn in order to be good leaders of their families is to be a good provider. Therefore, teaching important life skills such how to handle money and developing diligence and dependability is another topic Hal and Melanie touch on. They share how they encouraged their sons to be entrepreneurial and hardworking to contribute to the family’s needs.

Raising Real Men is a good read. I highly recommend it to those with boys. I have learnt much from it!

The book itself is available only in January 2010 but you can preorder it now. Or if you don’t want to wait, you can download it as an eBook – like I did and on top of that, save on shipping! More details can be found on their Raising Real Men website. And if you click on their Preorders tab, you’ll see that there are some free bonuses there if you preorder now. I don’t know how long this link lasts though.

Happy Reading!

 

She’s 6 months old

The smile that brightens our day

Our 7th blessing on earth is 6 months old today! And it has been a ride thus far

She constantly reminds me that I know next to nothing about babies and their kind Keeps me humble I say! Just coz something worked with the other 6 babies doesn’t mean it will work with her. Thankfully I can count on the older children to help me out. They have matured so much since her arrival which is a nice side benefit of having a baby in the house!

Ever since she burst forth into the world at a whopping 4.3kg (drug free, doctor free ) 6 months ago at home, she’s been in a rush. For what I am not exactly sure though She could flip over, either way at 3months, could get herself on all-fours crawling position by 4month and crawled (properly, not commando style) at 5.5 months. She could also pull herself up to a standing position at the same time. And in the last week sits very steadily by herself! Now if only she would remember to bend her knees when she wants to get down instead of holler for us to help her! Lol!

Look at me!

She constantly amazes me with her physical progress.

And then there’s her smile. She always melts our hearts with her beaming, ear-to-ear grins in the mornings no matter what time it is! And her blissed out look when she’s done nursing. She’s really a joy to us. So blessed that God sent her our way.

Yes, despite the lack of sleep, the sacrifice of abstaining from coffee, tea and rootbeer floats and countless interruptions during school

Thank you Lord that you sent her our way. May we raise her to fear you and serve you all the days of her life and bring glory to Your Name!